How to ask someone to be your safety contact (with a message template)

Why asking properly matters

A lot of people have an emergency contact in name only. Their partner is listed on a race form, or a parent is in their phone's medical ID, but nobody has talked about what that person should actually do. A safety contact is different: it's someone who knows you're out, knows when you'll be back, and knows what to do if you're not.

The National Park Service tells hikers to leave an itinerary with family or friends and to make sure those people know who to contact if the hiker is overdue. That second half is the part most people skip, and it's what a proper conversation fixes. The person at home can only act on information they have.

Asking properly also takes the pressure off them. Being told "you're my emergency contact" with no details is stressful. Being given a clear, small job with a plan attached is much easier to say yes to. If they want to read ahead, send them our guide on how to be a good safety contact, which is written for them.

Who to ask

The best safety contact isn't always the person closest to you. It's the person most likely to see an alert and act on it at the times you're usually out. Think about when you run, ride or hike, and who is awake, reachable and nearby at those hours.

• Reachable when you're out. Someone who works nights is a poor fit for 5 a.m. runs. A friend who keeps their phone on silent at work may miss a lunchtime alert.
• Calm under pressure. You want someone who will follow a plan, not someone who will panic or talk themselves out of calling.
• Knows your area, or can learn it. A local friend can drive to a trailhead. A parent in another state can still call 911 and give good information, but it helps if they know your usual routes.
• Willing to call 911. Ask this directly. Some people hesitate to "bother" emergency services. Your contact needs to be comfortable calling if they can't reach you.
• More than one, for longer outings. For a long hike or ride, two contacts means one is always likely to be reachable. Holler lets you choose more than one Guardian.

What you're actually asking them to do

Be specific about the job. Most people agree readily once they see how small it is on a normal day, and how clear it is on a bad one.

How to have the conversation

Ask in person or on a call if you can, and send the details in writing afterward. A few things make it go well.

Explain why. "I'm running alone more, and I'd feel better if someone knew what to do if something went wrong" is honest and gives them a reason that isn't about fear. You don't need to describe worst cases.

Make it easy to say no. Some people genuinely can't take this on, because of work, their own anxiety or their schedule. "No pressure if it's not a good fit" helps you get an honest answer, and a reluctant contact is worse than none.

Agree the thresholds together. How long after your return time should they wait before calling you? How many tries before they call someone else? At what point would they call 911? Write the answers down. Our guide on when to call 911 if someone is overdue is useful to read together, especially the reminder that there is no 24-hour waiting period for reporting someone missing.

Share the information they'd need in an emergency: your full name and date of birth, a recent photo, medical conditions and medications, your usual routes, what you usually wear and where you park. An emergency contact card and a phone medical ID are good places to keep the same details.

A message you can copy and send

Edit this to sound like you, then send it. Fill in the brackets.

"Hi [name], can I ask you a favor? I've been [running / riding / hiking] on my own a lot lately, and I'd like someone to be my safety contact. On a normal day, all it means is I'll share my route and when I expect to be back. I use an app that sends you a private link to see where I am. It opens in your browser, no app or account needed."

"If I don't check in on time, or I press SOS, or I stop moving and don't answer a prompt, you'd get an email or notification. If that happens, I'd need you to call me, then call [partner / neighbor / running buddy] if I don't answer, and call 911 with my last location if you still can't reach me. The app doesn't call 911 itself, so that part would be you."

"I usually go out [days and times], usually around [routes or parks]. My plan is to be back within [time]. No pressure at all if it's not a good fit. Would you be up for it?"

Set it up and test it together

A plan nobody has tried is a plan nobody trusts. Walk through it once while you're both home. Share a live location link and have them open it on their phone, so they know what it looks like. Set a short return time and let it pass so they see what an overdue alert looks like, then check in. Show them where they can acknowledge an alert, so you'll know they saw it, and point out how long ago the location last updated, which is the first thing to check when a real alert comes in.

With Holler, you add them as a Guardian and they can choose how alerts reach them, by email or by app or browser push. Ask them to check that notifications aren't being silenced by a focus or do-not-disturb mode during your usual outing times. If they are unsure about installing anything, can someone see my location without downloading an app answers that. Our answers on how to share your live location while running and while cycling walk through the sharing side.

Then keep the arrangement easy to live with. A quick message when you head out and when you're back builds a habit. Tell them when your plans change, and thank them now and then. It's a small job, but it's a real one.